Liberties.

There will be realizations about our past. About everything that didn't last. And there will be things you will never comprehend no matter how hard you try. Its confusing to say the least, when somebody will say they cant remember at the same time they cant forget. I have made peace with every demons in my past. Though there are those that cant be forgotten nor cant it be mended so you just let it be. Things I have no control over with are the things I either embrace or forget. I used to believed that you will always have that someone that you will love more than anything and anyone but for some reason it ended. That one person that got away. Ive always hold on to it. Because deep down I hold on to it because I was still hoping that somewhere in the future our paths will cross and fate will favor us another chance, another chance to make it work and hopefully will last our lifetimes. but life has a funny way of slapping your face with reality. The reality that I needed to wake up from a dream that will never be. That truth covered with the realities of life, love and lost are probably the worst kind of a wake up call but the most liberating at all. I remember, I held on to it, I refused to let it go because I regretted losing it. Even if I lost the person I was once in the relationship, even if I gave up everything good inside me, no matter how hard I tried to make it work, my best my worst wasnt good enough. I wasnt good enough. And no matter how much scenarios I keep brewing in my mind it will still boils down to that. I. Wasn't. Good. Enough. Love is only but a chemical reactions in our brains. But the choices that we make and act upon in regards to this feeling are much more relevant than anything else. And the truth is we dont let go and hold on to the past so close to our heart is that we have regrets. Deep inside we know it ended not because we are out of love nor that we are out of trust but because of who we are at that point in time, and the realization that we could have done better, that we could have done more are the things that keeps nagging us back to that time when we let our happiness slipped out of our fingers. The happiness that cant be replaced nor ever be found again. and so I always asked myself did I do my best in every relationship? my answer will always be yes, so that whenever it ends for some reason. I dont regret and I dont looked back. But admittedly there will always be that one time, one place, one person that you will try to hold on to well at least until you are ready to let it go that is.